I quit my job, and in other news...

So I'm quitting my job.  It is necessary, but it is scary.  And when I saw the job listing in print today, I was sad.  Really sad.  It really makes it seem real.  Really real.  I wasn't ready for that.  I know I'm doing the right thing, but it is hard.  This job has been a HUGE part of my life for a long time.  Almost 6 years.  To other people that may not seem like a long time, but I think it is.  I've seen lots of people come and go.  I have loved my time here.  I've made so many friends through this place.  I'm not worried about losing those friends, but it will be a bummer not seeing them everyday.  I sort of feel like these people are my family.  Even those people who annoy you.  Cause family is like that too!  :)

I'm scared starting a new job.  I don't know these new people.  Will they like me?  Will I like them?  Are they fun?  Are they funny?  Am I going to hate it?  Is it going to be boring?  Are we going to go broke?  I'm working less hours and making less money, but the drive isn't far.  I'll be home more evenings, and I'll have more time to work on other projects.  Jarot and I want to run our own business.  We have all of our screenprinting stuff, and we want to finally be able to sit down and make it work.  I want to find somebody to illustrate the kids' books I've written.  Or maybe I just need to sit down and work on my drawings to make them how I imagined.  I'm pretty picky when it comes to book illustrations.

All these emotions just hit me today.  And I'm glad nobody walked into my office at work just after I got to work today.  I was sitting at my desk crying, and I'm not a crier. 

All the applications are rolling in, I'm sure.  :(  I just don't want can't imagine anybody else doing my job, but obviously it needs to be done and I'm not going to be doing it. 

Just putting that out there in the blogosphere.

On a happier note, we should be moving into the new house this weekend.  Jarot and his dad are finishing up the floor in the new house as I type.  At least I hope that is what they are doing.  It is what they are supposed to be doing.  Then all that remains is hanging the interior doors and adding the deck railings and posts.  I think that is it, aside from me trying to salvage the ugly bathroom vanity and spray painting fan blades.  This has been a busy 7 weeks.  We have done all the renovations ourselves on our other house, but never all at once like this.  I don't want to see another paint brush for a few years, so I hope we love the colors we selected for a long, long time.  Photos still to come, but that will be another day.

Random stuff from our lives

I'm sure every mother asks herself this question at some point. It seems like more and more I'm asking this every day. My kids are awesome! Really awesome! They are great little people.  But how do other moms do this?  Regularly, I feel like I'm losing my mind.  People constantly tell me "I don't know how you do it."  I'm not doing anything special, and frankly, sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding it together.  I just keep trucking along.  I'm so afraid I'm going to screw my kids up.  Is that an irrational fear?  Does every other mother feel that same way?  Am I just rambling now?

So since I've last updated this blog (aside from adding a few things like the bucket list), we've added a new addition.  Lila Charlotte joined our family on Friday, February 17th, and she is just about the cutest little thing ever.

Having four kids is really hard.  Somebody always needs something.  Sometime I want to go to my room and just sit and do nothing and just enjoy the silence.  Ha!  That isn't going to happen.  This blog post has been sitting in draft mode for a long, long time waiting for me to finish what I'd like to say.  I've actually taken a lot out.  I was experiencing some depression, and you know what?  That's hard for me to say.  Why is that so hard?  It's like a dirty little secret that I'm ashamed to admit.  Isn't that awful?!?  This time I knew what the problem was because I have experienced it before, so I knew what to do.  Thankfully the times I've experienced depression it was caused by medicine I was taking.  This time is was from the IUD I had implanted.  I had hoped that it wouldn't effect me the way other hormone birth control pills do, but it was.  I'm done with that stuff.  Never again will I add synthetic hormones to my body.  My body just doesn't cope well with them.  I don't know if other people have experienced this, but I figured I'd share my experience just in case it will help somebody else.

I'm getting used to life with four kids.  Most days are exhausting, and I'm ready to fall into bed.  Some days are really challenging.  Some days I'd like to send one or two or four kids off to their grandparents, but I don't.  Thankfully though I do have awesome in-laws who take the older three kids on a regular basis for a weekend away.  That time is so nice because I get to share it with my favorite person and the cutest baby on the planet.  I won't lie though.  It will be nice once she is sleeping through the night and she can go for an overnight stay at the grandparents' place.  :) 

We are in the process of renovating a house, and we should be moving next week.  You know what that means?  No more homeschooling!!!  I'm so excited about that.  As much as I'd like to be, I'm just not one of those moms who can handle it.  I couldn't do it!  We homeschooled Hana for two years, and I'm so thrilled to put her back in public school.  Jonah is in kindergarten, and Hana is in third grade.  School started on Wednesday, and they love it.  What I don't love is having to drive them 25 minutes to school in the morning, but we will only have a few more days of that before we can move all of our stuff into the new place.  I'm so excited.  I have a bunch of before and after photos to show the progress we have made on the house and those should be up soon.

On another note, I'm planning to start blogging more.  Maybe I shouldn't even say "more" because that implies I do it at all.  So I'll just start saying that I'm going to blog.  I'm hoping for once a week or more.  I want to use it as an outlet for several things.  1. Sharing our home renovation photos. 2. I'd like to start journaling about my weight loss.  I say that like it is happening now.  It isn't, but it needs to be.  And I think blogging about it will keep my motivated and accountable.  If you don't see any posts about it, drop me a line and give me a hard time about it. 3. Adventures and the hilarious things my little people say. 4. Working toward living a better story. 

I think that is it for now.  Talk to you again soon!

How We're Doing.

As summer winds to a close, we took a look at our summer bucket list.  We don't have as many items crossed off our list as we planned to.  We have an excuse; I promise.  We have been renovating a house.  It has taken a lot longer than planned.  We were originally thinking the house would close at the beginning of June, and we would have the work done and move in by early July.  Unfortunately, the house didn't close until the beginning of July.  Today will, hopefully, be the last day we are working on it.  And the next step is moving in.  Below is our summer bucket list.  You can see the items we have checked off, and I'll be adding the photos from our adventures to the blog soon.  I'm trying to get on a regular schedule of posting stuff here.  I'd like this to be a digital scrapbook of all our trials, tribulations, and adventures. 

Here is our 2012 summer bucket list:

Build a sandcastle - in our new backyard, sort of counts, sort of doesn't.  It ain't the beach, for sure!

Do a geocache

Go to the beach

Slip and slide

Shaving cream slip and slide

Go to a movie

Flashlight tag

House warming BBQ

Backyard camping

Camping with friends

Build fire pit

Ice cream from ice cream truck

Learn to swim

Breakfast for dinner

Find the best chocolate chip cookie recipe

Coffee can homemade ice cream

Eat a whole meal of foods we've never tried

Build a garden

Make some new friends

Go screen free for a whole week

Berry picking

Get sno-cones

Make banana splits

Make your own pizza night

Go to the farmer's market

Go out to dinner to a sit down place as a family

Explore the creek

Catch some tadpoles, toads, frogs

Go seining

Make popsicles

Play mini golf

Play a family football game

Family game night

Buffet night

Go to a drive-in

Go hiking

Summer reading program at the library - Hana did this!  We joined the one in our new town with 2 days left to go.  We didn't get the boys done, but Hana read all hers by herself because she really wanted to earn the rewards.

Lazy day

Build a kids picnic table

Build a new dining room table and benches with help from everybody

Save for a trampoline

Check out the awesome people I'm privileged to call friends behind the Summer Bucket List Challenge!

Our Summer Bucket List

Our good friends Josh and Jenny Solar of The Happy Family Movement are back for the second year of The Summer Bucket List. This is also our second time around doing the challenge. Last summer, we didn't accomplish as much as we wanted to. BUT our goal this year is to cross off as many items as we can. And we are off to a good start. We've already crossed two items off our list. I'll be blogging the photos and sharing a bit about our adventures.

Here is our 2012 summer bucket list:

Build a sandcastle

Do a geocache

Go to the beach

Slip and slide

Shaving cream slip and slide

Go to a movie

Flashlight tag

House warming BBQ

Backyard camping

Camping with friends

Build fire pit

Ice cream from ice cream truck

Learn to swim

Breakfast for dinner

Find the best chocolate chip cookie recipe

Coffee can homemade ice cream

Eat a whole meal of foods we've never tried

Build a garden

Make some new friends

Go screen free for a whole week

Berry picking

Get sno-cones

Make banana splits

Make your own pizza night

Go to the farmer's market

Go out to dinner to a sit down place as a family

Explore the creek

Catch some tadpoles, toads, frogs

Go seining

Make popsicles

Play mini golf

Play a family football game

Family game night

Buffet night

Go to a drive-in

Go hiking

Summer reading program at the library

Lazy day

Build a kids picnic table

Build a new dining room table and benches with help from everybody

Save for a trampoline